7 Things that showed me I was just surviving.

Guess what? I don’t have a list post for you.  I’ve hidden my wonderful list in the text!
You’re thrilled, I can tell.

I figure it’ll either drive you away or make you interested, though I suppose there’s a couple thousand possibilities I didn’t account for there.  Fuck it, read this.

 

The shortest of stories

It was a hot Saturday afternoon,
I wlife changes at odd momentsas standing in the yard without a shirt in front of an as-yet-un-started lawnmower.

 

My dad had called me the day before, he’d hurt his back,  he wanted to know if I could cut the grass for him; I’m a great son, of course I said yes.

 

Sick of all the music on my iPhone,  I had started looking through podcasts.   Ended up picking business section, (still don’t know why) on the first screen I saw Smart Passive Income,  so I touched the green and white image with my thumb.

 

2 hours later my life had changed, I was just confused at the time,  but those two episodes were going to lead me to some incredible people.

 

Rewind to a month Prior

At the end of that spring I’d just finished my “first” semester in college, (I tried once before and I went through the military’s most difficult academic training, more on those later) it had been a difficult time for me.

 

Now, before you say “Please, college isn’t that hard, this guy must be an idiot.”
I wasn’t just going to college.  I was a student, an employee, a father, and a husband, I had no money for daycare and my wife worked and went to school at the same time.  I was proud of myself, I somehow managed to squeak by with a 4.0 that I wasn’t sure I deserved, and I had the summer to relax.

 

I was spending my free time playing video games or reading fantasy novels. Just like most Americans I was (still am) in debt.  I totally could have been working to get rid of that instead of lounging around in the evenings; I guess still felt  pretty entitled due to my recent success.

 

I was surviving, only just.  In America it can be hard to know that you’re just barely scraping by;  today our culture  and media are  built around helping you to forget that you’re broke, that you’re wasting your evenings.  It’s easy to feel like you deserve to relax after you just worked a whole 8 hour shift. Well, it’s bullshit.

 

From the present perspective

I had just completed something that was pretty new and difficult. I  did deserve to be proud but I didn’t deserve to take a break.  I hadn’t actually achieved anything, I’d started down the road to a career but I sure didn’t have a right to celebrate already.   My problem was that I was just as blind as everyone around me, just as uninformed, despite the fact that I consonantly knew  I could be doing more.

 

What was stopping me?

Fear mostly, we’re all just really scared and we don’t know why; it turns out that we’re all scared of non-scare-worthy things, all due to the simple fact that we outpaced evolution.  Our instincts are wrong, we have nothing fear except the fact that we are literally running out of time to actually do something with our lives. So stop worrying about what people think, they’re idiots.

I might sound high and mighty here, but the truth is that I’m still figuring this out, it’s still sinking in and I catch myself avoiding things for no damned reason at all, it gets pretty frustrating sometimes.

 

So, if you actually try that thing you’ve been thinking about, it’s pretty likely if you fail you’re not going to die.  The truth is that you should try it anyways, because you are going to die someday, whether you tried your awesome idea or not doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme.  The only thing you’re doing if you don’t try these ideas is removing the possibilities that you might be successful or at least learn from your mistake.

 

These are a just some of the things I’m still working on fixing. I was afraid of trying new things, afraid of failing, especially if I was in any kind of public eye.  It turns out the public eye doesn’t really matter, the risks I wasn’t taking weren’t in any way dangerous, I was just afraid of failing and just fucking lazy.  The ironic part is that I do things a lot of people are afraid to try, things that are actually dangerous. 

 

So what’s the point of this post?

Well it’s a list, sort of.

The point is that you can live the life you want to live if you give enough of a shit to just try it. There are more options than going to college so you can start a career and work your way up the ranks.  I wasn’t thrilled with the college idea, so I joined the military, turns out that’s not so thrilling either.

 

Now I know it’s ok to not be interested in using my Russian Language skills to find a career,  all those careers fucking suck.  I can spend my life doing something I care about and I can help other people at the same time, all without giving up my life  for 30 years before enjoying it.

I couldn’t fit my links in without making this post all over the place.

It turns out you don’t have to be a douchebag to work and make a living on the internet. You don’t need all the shit you think you need, in fact you’ll be happier without it. I still managed not to use a list post, it’s nice to set challenges for yourself, though mine was, admittedly, small.

 

I’m finding new awesome things on an almost daily basis at this point. If you’re one of the people I should know about, or you want a longer list, feel free to contact me via the contact link in the menu up top, I’d love to hear from you.

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